Born to a drug addicted mother, Violet was adopted at 5 years old, but after three years, her parents gave up their rights. Violet was adopted again by another couple. “It was not a good experience—a lot like Cinderella’s story,” Violet said. “They had other children that were jealous, they started fostering, and I was not allowed to be with friends, go anywhere, or use a phone.”
Feeling isolated and alone, Violet acted out, stealing a classmate’s cell phone. The classmate’s parents pressed charges and she was sent to juvenile hall. When Violet was released from juvenile hall her parents did not show up. “They returned me like you do a toy at Wal-Mart,” Violet said. She was 13 and assigned to a group home where she was quickly introduced to drugs.
Violet was moved from one foster family to another attending five different high schools. “Moving a lot made relationships hard, so I gravitated to those that drank and did drugs,” Violet said. “I was always the new girl and I would do whatever (drugs) they would do.”
Violet continued to use after graduation, but found the strength to get sober while pregnant with her daughter. However when her daughter was 6 months old, Violet used crystal meth for the first time and after that she became “powerless to it. It destroyed my life and I haven’t had custody of my daughter since she was 2 years old and now she’s 10.”
As the addiction increased so did the tension in all areas of Violet’s life. “I would steal and get in fights with friends,” she said. “I stopped going to work, stopped caring about other people, the rules, the law—I just became a totally different person.”
Violet would try to get sober in hopes of getting her daughter back, but the longing to numb the pain of abandonment from childhood and just to “feel happy” would overcome her. “I would flush all the meth down the toilet and then immediately go get more. I gave up all other drugs and only wanted meth. It messed up my mind.”
Over the next several years, the cycle of jail time and sobriety would be a constant in Violet’s life and during this time she became a mom again. While trying to gain sobriety through a rehab program she relapsed again. Child Protective Services removed her son from her custody and she was forced to leave the rehab program.
After leaving rehab, Violet escaped to drugs yet again, but this time she blacked out and woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed. A social worker gave her the option of more jail time or entering the Lighthouse Life Recovery Program. Violet remembers, “I immediately said, ‘Yes, I will do anything to get my son back.’”
Violet doubted herself and the ability to find true freedom from her addictions. “I was really scared the first few days, because I had tried to quit before but the cravings would always come back and I would end up where I started.” Other times when Violet would seek recovery she tried it all on her own strength with little support. But the program at the Lighthouse has given her God and a support system. “Things do feel different than before and I am making it through cravings that I’ve not gotten through before,” she said. “The program has helped me understand myself, my brain, and the why behind what I do.”
Violet even as a little girl loved worship music. “My relationship with God is now more apparent to me and I am seeing and feeling His love.”
Violet is seeing God work in her life. She has been reunited with her son, who lives with her at the Lighthouse, and is able to spend time with her daughter on the weekends. She looks forward to going to cosmetology school after graduating the program. “I know that God is at work, and not me, because I am able to do things that I have not been able to do before,” she said.