Rudy helps out in the kitchen with fellow staff and residents.

He recently graduated the program and continues to use the tools that helped him

Rudy was finally beginning to feel at peace. Representing the Rescue Mission at a recent volunteer service fair, it occurred to him that he had started to spend more time thinking about others than about himself. “I felt that God had given me the emotional control that I needed,” he said “and I was not being pulled in 10 directions at once. Instead, there was a focus on what I could do to serve.”

Rudy spent the first four years of his life living in Chicago but fled to Mexico with his mother after his alcoholic father threatened them both with a gun. “I remember hiding in a closet, crying and wondering if my dad wasn’t going to hurt us,” said Rudy. “That’s the only real memory I have of my father.”

After three years they returned to the United States and with an aunt’s help, moved to Santa Barbara. “We lived in the Buena Park area and back then it was considered the poor part of town. I learned early about the gangs,” said Rudy. Soon his mom was back in an abusive relationship and Rudy would spend as much time away from home as he could.

“The kids I hung out with would bully me but before long I became the bully myself. I was learning that violence was normal and by the fourth grade I had just accepted that it was how things were.”

As Rudy got older it became apparent to him that his family was poor, and he was teased often in middle school. “Sometimes I didn’t even have a regular pair of shoes and I might be wearing football cleats to school,” he recalled. Struggling to find acceptance at home and in school, by the eighth grade Rudy had begun smoking pot and then progressed to using crack cocaine. By the time he was 16, Rudy had joined a gang and was using meth.

Despite finishing high school through a continuation school, Rudy continued to struggle with addiction and gang life. While back in jail, he learned about a trade school and once out and living with his aunt, Rudy was able to get an electrician certificate and eventually a B.A. in electrical engineering. “It was a miracle that I was able to do this since I was still spending lots of time getting high,” he recalled, “but once I was done, I just went back to what I knew best.”

Having no experience in finding work, Rudy was eventually homeless on the streets of Santa Barbara. After being in and out of jail over a few years, Rudy decided it was time to get serious about his life. He entered a recovery program, managed to get sober, and found work in construction.

Rudy then got married and he and his wife were fortunate to have a Christian family offer them support and a place to live. When he got laid off shortly after his daughter was born, things started getting hard again and Rudy soon relapsed. This began a cycle of sobriety and relapse that saw Rudy in and out of recovery programs and eventually he was divorced.

Sinking to the lowest time of his life, Rudy’s addictions worsened, and his emotions were out of control. “I was talking to myself all the time. I mean talking out loud and sounding crazy to anyone who heard me,” he said. “I was so lost that I just started crying out to God.”

Rudy found the Mission. “I needed to learn patience and to submit to authority, especially God’s authority. And this meant needing to slow down and control my emotions.” Rudy has found clarity while working through the Genesis Process, especially when reflecting on his life. “I was carrying around all this resentment and blame and I saw clearly that my actions were controlled by my runaway emotions. But now I let God be in charge.”

Rudy recently graduated from the program, but he continues to use the tools that got him through it. “I’m attending Church for the Nations, have a mentor, and am still accountable in all areas of my life. I’m ready to move forward, but it’s God’s plan for me now.”

Reconnected with his daughter and working towards being the father he was meant to be, Rudy realizes it’s all about serving others. “When I offer myself in service, I have genuine hope for where my life is headed. And all of this has been a gift from God.”