Rena decides: no more excuses

Rena is focusing on healing, unpacking past trauma, and gaining a deeper understanding of the roots of her addiction.

Rena was just 5 when her mother left due to her drug use. Raised by her father alongside her two siblings, Rena grew up knowing that addiction had changed her family.

Her father worked hard to give his children a stable home, taking them to church every Sunday, praying before meals, and teaching them about God.

“My dad was a really good dad,” Rena said. “He did the best that he could with what we had. We didn’t have a lot growing up, but what he could give us, he gave us.”

When Rena was 12, her mother unexpectedly returned after getting clean. Until then, Rena and her siblings had believed their mother had passed away, a “necessary lie” her father told to explain her mother’s absence.

“It was really weird when she came back,” Rena said. “My dad wasn’t expecting my mom to return but she got sober and came back. She wanted visitation rights.”

Rena wanted a relationship with her mother, but reconnecting brought complicated emotions.

As she grew older, she excelled in school and sports and graduated high school. Unfortunately, she fell in with the wrong crowd and began using drugs and stealing.

“It wasn’t really about the money, it was another high for me,” Rena said. “I used to feel proud of what I did, of how good I was at it, but now I’m so ashamed of it all.”

At the Mission, Rena began to understand that her addiction was about more than drugs. She had been trying to find something that had been missing for much of her life.

“I was trying to fill the void my mom left. I wanted to be good, or good at something enough where I was finally accepted. But I put all my energy into the wrong things.”

Rena is also learning to fully embrace recovery.

“I used to think I didn’t need recovery, that I was fine,” she said. “But I was just making excuses for myself. The Mission has literally saved my life. My mom told me, ‘When you’re ready, you’re going to know that you’re ready.’ I never understood that but now I’m experiencing it.”

Today, Rena said she has something she spent years searching for: peace.

“God is teaching me to trust Him and to give Him total control,” she said. “This program is the best thing to happen to me; God is good. I’m just so happy in my life now. I’m grateful, I’m good, I have peace and God is my foundation.”