‘God was with me the whole time’

Anthony praises the recovery tools he’s learned for getting to the root causes of his addiction.

This is the seventh story in a series chronicling this year’s theme of “Rescue.” This month, we look into Anthony’s story, recounting his journey to a new life.

Looking back from where he is now, Anthony can see that God was always at work in his life.

“When I think about all that I went through growing up and about all the mistakes that I made, it’s amazing that I managed to survive through it all. But now I know that God was with me the whole time and that’s what’s truly amazing.”

Anthony grew up in the San Fernando Valley in a broken home. His parents divorced when he was seven and his mother moved to Florida.

“My father was physically abusive to my mother, and I was often a witness to the violence,” he recalled, “so I developed a twisted idea of what a family was.”

After his father remarried, Anthony became the target of the abuse while his new stepsister and half-brother seemed immune to his dad’s fury.

“I was definitely the black sheep of the family, and I developed deep feelings of shame and betrayal.”

Around age 12, Anthony began drinking and smoking marijuana in order to escape from the torment of his home life.

“I was trying to escape from the pain, and the pot and alcohol were my way of numbing myself,” said Anthony, “but as I began hanging out with the wrong crowd, I was drawn into harder drugs.”

Anthony left his home at 14, but unfortunately, he spent the next four years in various rehab and psychiatric facilities. Yet despite his situation, he managed to get his high school diploma and completed an associate’s degree in computer networking.

Reflecting on that time, Anthony sees God’s grace.

“The fact that I did that considering my circumstances is another example of God working in my life, but it wasn’t until years later that I recognized that.”

At 19, Anthony met the woman who would become his wife and the mother of his daughter.

“I was working and supporting my family for the next couple of decades, but I was still very much in my addictions. I was the epitome of a ‘functioning addict,’ but that only goes on for so long, and eventually things crash and burn,” said Anthony.

Almost overnight, he lost his job and his house when he could no longer keep things together. He spent the next four months in a motel with his wife until he was arrested and was no longer allowed on the property.

The next three months were spent sleeping on the beach until, out of desperation, Anthony called 911 and said he was going to harm himself. After time in a psychiatric facility and a detox center, he was sent to the Henry Mayo clinic in Valencia.

Originally apprehensive, Anthony now sees the Mission as a gift. He’s “determined to make the most of it,” he said.

Upon his release, he was given a large packet that listed treatment facilities in the area.

“I called so many places, but nothing was available,” he recalled, “but then someone suggested I try calling 211 and that’s how I found the Rescue Mission.”

After a few nights in emergency shelter, Anthony was admitted to the Mission’s Life Recovery Program.

“I felt great when I finally had a safe place to stay, but once that feeling wore off, I began to feel stuck,” he said.

But Anthony persevered and his perspective began to change.

“This is when I began to think seriously about God and what He wanted for me. I began looking at this place as a gift and I was determined to make the most of it.”

Once he began working through his recovery classes, things started to fall into place for Anthony.

With a new mental clarity and a focus on God’s plan, Anthony sees a bright future ahead of him.

“I was always a provider and a hard worker despite everything else, and I am looking forward to getting back to work and taking care of my wife.”

“But I also know that I’ve still got work to do here and more growth ahead of me. Right now, my goals are modest, and I take each day as an opportunity to learn something new about myself and how to grow closer to God. This is a good place to be.”