Eileen credits the classes and skills she learned at the Lighthouse for her recovery and healing.

She’s finally done living in ‘survival mode’

“It was a real, rough, dark situation,” said Eileen when asked about her childhood. “My dad was an alcoholic. There was just a lot of chaos and confusion and abuse, mentally, physically, emotionally.

“I grew up in survival mode. I was my own parent or my older brothers were trying to be my parents… I didn’t really have a childhood.”

The lack of parental attention meant that attending school was not enforced and Eileen dropped out after completing the eighth grade. Due to the neglect she experienced as a child, Eileen developed self-esteem issues and started using drugs and alcohol. “I didn’t think I was good enough. I always wanted to feel accepted, to feel loved. I had a void in me. I started drinking at 12, and I started using meth at 15,” she said. Eileen had two children, but her addiction only grew, and she eventually spent time in jail.

Eileen remembers the moment she knew she needed help. “I was homeless, sleeping in front of a church. It was raining and cold, and I just knew I couldn’t do it anymore. God was tugging on my heart saying He had something better for me.”

In October 2023, Eileen entered the Lighthouse’s Life Recovery Program. “If it wasn’t for God, if it wasn’t for the program, if it wasn’t for me fully surrendering – I mean, it’s called ‘Life Recovery’ because it’s your whole life, not just the 10 months. What you put in it, you’ll get out of it, and I put my full heart into it.”

Eileen praises the various classes and training offered during the program for giving her the tools to help her heal. “The boundaries class helped me. It helped me set healthy boundaries that I never had. I would always say yes, yes, yes and was a people pleaser. And the domestic violence classes helped me understand that the abuse wasn’t my fault. It had nothing to do with me.”

Eileen graduated the Life Recovery Program and is currently in the Transitional Living Program, where she’s working toward completing her GED. Afterwards, she’s considering going to Bible college. She’s thrilled God has begun restoring her family. She has custody of her daughter and is working toward getting her son back.

She’s also gained new perspective on her parents. “They did the best they could. I think it was a generational (cycle) – my parents didn’t know any better because their parents didn’t teach them. Recently, my mom apologized to me for my upbringing, that she couldn’t defend me, and that she wasn’t there like a mother should be.

“I’m breaking the (cycle), doing better for my kids. I want to encourage and be supportive. I want them to know what positive affirmations are, what love is.”

After searching for decades, love is something Eileen has finally found for herself. “I didn’t know what love was until I came to the Lighthouse. I didn’t even love myself. I was full of despair and pain, and now I’m free from that. I feel the safest I’ve ever been.

“I don’t regret, not even for one moment, stepping through the door.”