Ana and her two youngest daughters. After graduation, Ana wants to go to Bible college.

She’s reunited with her two youngest children

Reflecting on her childhood, Ana takes a moment to collect her thoughts. “I didn’t grow up emotionally stable,” she said. “I was always depressed. I had a lot of trauma growing up.”

When Ana was just 1 year old, she suffered severe acid burns on her face, resulting in blindness in her right eye. In school, Ana felt she was “different” than everyone else. “I didn’t fit in. I never had a boyfriend. I never got to experience the normal things kids do. I was depressed, shy, self-conscious and I hated myself. I could barely talk to anyone,” she said. At 11, Ana was sexually abused. “In that moment, I remember feeling scared,” she said. “After he did that, I just felt like there was no point in living. I tried to commit suicide. From 11 to 17 years old, that was my mission – I wanted to die.”

When Ana was 17, she became pregnant. It was the reason Ana needed to stay alive. “My daughter was my purpose; she was my reason for living. I stopped hurting myself and I got sober.” She quickly had another child.

Ana thought her life was going to be different with a partner and kids, but then the abuse began. Her boyfriend became controlling and violent, and Ana started using drugs with him to help deal with the abuse. After separating, Ana experienced violence from her new partners and had two more children. Her depression worsened.

“I was severely depressed,” she said. “I couldn’t get out of my room. I had to quit my job because I was just at work crying. For four years, I just drank alcohol, but when I turned 34, I tried heroin for the first time. From there, my whole life just spiraled.”

Ana became homeless and began living on the train tracks. Fortunately, Ana’s mother was able to take in her grandchildren while Ana was on the streets. After several suicide attempts and heavy drug use, Ana knew she needed help.

In July, Ana came to the Mission with her two youngest daughters. “At the Lighthouse, I’ve been able to be still and just process everything. I’m thankful that even though I’ve been through all that, I’m okay. The Lord’s grace is sufficient.

“And my kids are thriving,” she added. “They’ve never had this stability before. I can’t even say how much that means to us.”

Ana has also gotten better at recognizing and reacting appropriately to her feelings. “When I feel sad or a little down, I automatically know now what is going on with me. I am getting to know myself so well now that I know I need to read my Bible, or work out, or eat or rest. My mental health is so much better.”