Beatrice graduated from the Lighthouse’s Life Recovery Program in July.

Grief, addiction, led her to the river bottom

Beatrice wasn’t used to being indoors. After years of homelessness and living at the Santa Paula river bottom, Beatrice felt more comfortable outside. She could come and go as she pleased, pretend she was camping, and make her own rules. But it wasn’t always this way.

“Grief brought me to the river bottom. My grandfather got sick and passed away and then my son got sick and passed away. There was just so much grief,” Beatrice said. “I started using methamphetamines. I became depressed and suicidal. I quit my job, lost my house, my car. I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t want to be (alive) anymore.”

However, growing weary of living in the river bottom, a friend recommended the Lighthouse to Beatrice, and after a month of deliberating, she entered the Life Recovery Program. “I was tired of being homeless, of being in the streets,” she said. “I wanted change. I wanted to be in my family’s lives, to spend time with my grandkids, kids, and my mom. My mom’s always been so supportive of me, she’s always prayed for me. She walked me into the Lighthouse.”

Beatrice was “fully committed” to changing her life, and before entering the program, she stopped using drugs. “I went into the program a month sober. If I was serious about changing, I had to. I had to do it for myself,” she said.

Entering the Lighthouse was another big step for Beatrice. “I was scared. Being inside was hard. It was a new environment for me. The transition wasn’t easy, and it took me time (to adjust). When I’m outside, it’s an open space and I can go wherever I want to go. The streets are scary, especially for women, but I also knew what to expect. Here they have rules, structure, and I can’t just go out. It was hard for me.

“There were times I wanted to leave but the women in the program are awesome and prayed for me. My mom and granddaughter would visit me and call me, and that really helped.”

Despite the struggles she experienced early in the program, Beatrice graduated in July. It’s a feat she’s incredibly proud of. “I start things, but I don’t finish them. But I did this time. The program is the first thing I’ve accomplished in a long time.

“Now, I feel more comfortable and safer inside. The few times I’ve stayed with my mom, I’ve hated going outside. I prefer staying in,” Beatrice laughed. “I also deal with grief differently, and God has been restoring my family little by little.”

Beatrice is currently in the Transitional Living Program and is working as a Ministry Resident at the thrift store’s Call Center. “I’m getting real work experience. It’s a little overwhelming, but I’m getting into the routine of doing things for myself again, like paying rent and bills like I did before.

“The Lighthouse has helped me with that. They’re also helping me get my GED. It’s an awesome program if you want to change your life or get help. You don’t have to worry about basic things like rent, food, hygiene (products). Everything is provided. I can really focus on me, the Bible, and working through my past trauma and issues.

“As much as I love the program, I only want to do it once. I want to move forward and spend time with my family. That’s the thing: you really have to want it. You have to really want to change and understand. You really have to do the work.”